January 16, 2012

Weigh in number four

Posted in January, Weight Watchers tagged , at 1:52 pm by viewfromthisdesk

Weigh in number four today. Well, as of less than an hour ago if I’m honest. I lost half a pound apparently, which I’m gutted about. I did feel like I’d lost more in terms of clothes and how I felt when I looked in the mirror. Even hubby is surprised with the result. Hey ho. And yes a loss is a loss. Next week I’ll show those scales, next week will be better.

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January 14, 2012

Good girls are simply bad girls that don’t get caught!

Posted in January tagged , , , at 5:37 pm by viewfromthisdesk

It’s been a few days since I last wrote.  A weird few days I guess.  Fairly average in terms of pain and tiredness so I won’t bore you with the same old, same old.  I’m realising how much my condition is not only influenced by what I do physically, but also how I am emotionally.  If I’m feeling ‘down’ or upset, it really triggers that very quick, downward spiral into tiredness or worse – a meltdown.  This week taught me that bad news can be handled better with the support of friends and that ever-suffering husband of mine. 

Today, he’s left me home alone, I know he worries that I’m going to do something daft and hurt myself but honestly people, I do have a brain and occasionally I do use it!  I know not to use a (sharp) knife if I’m tired, I know not to try and pick up heavy stuff anymore.  So anyway, he’s off all day, potentially into the wee small hours of tomorrow morning at a concert he’s really been looking forward to.  Listening to the radio, it sounds like the world, their wife and their next door neighbour are at this concert, so I hope he gets a good view! 

In anticipation of the arrival of the new sofa, we’ve been trying to sort out the dining room, a misnomer if ever there was one.  I think we’ve eaten in there twice in eleven years, and it was more hubby’s study than a dining room, but it had a big table and chairs, so that’s what it’s always been called.  Anyway, this room is going to be turned into a kinda quiet room, a snug if you will.  One of the existing sofas which hasn’t quite fallen prey to the cats as much as the other will be going in there, so it means we only have to landfill the one.  But space still needs to be created and if we’re renaming the room and attempting to use it differently, then I may as well take the opportunity to redecorate it, surely?

For the nine of you who have this sent to your email inbox, you know I LOVE redecorating and redesigning rooms and stuff like that.  Love, love, love it.  I do feel a bit LLB at times – I want to redecorate our dining room – in two weeks – when it’s full of hubby’s stuff.  It is, a challenge of the grandest scale.  But I have chosen and purchased the paint for the room (I’ve also decided on the new colour scheme for the living room but hubby isn’t *quite* aware of that yet <evil cackle>) and all that remains is some sheer bloody-mindedness to crack on with the job. 

So, whilst hubby is somewhat absent, I’ve rearranged the room – one wall at a time – and stripped off the paper border so beloved of the nineties.  Yes it involved using a steamer, and yes I was stood on a chair at the time, but I’ve blooming done it and the room looks even more like a bomb site than it did yesterday.  But, and here I get quite smug about it all, I did take on the elements of pacing and prioritising that keeps being rammed at me.  I did indeed pace myself by stopping after every wall.  Okay, when I stopped, I did do other stuff like washing or sorting the chickens or driving to Argos, but I did stop for a WHOLE HOUR at 2pm when I realised I was starving hungry.  I did prioritise by starting with the smallest, easiest wall (just in case it all went horribly wrong you understand) so I feel that whilst what I have done today is way too much for this pathetic body to take, I did approach it all in a sensible and measured manner.  And hubby will never know because he’s a boy and they never notice stuff straight away.

I am indeed a bad girl but because I won’t get caught, on this occasion, I am a very good girl!  So, I’m off to polish my halo and have a very, very early night.

January 10, 2012

Tuesday 10th January 2012

Posted in January tagged , , , , at 2:35 pm by viewfromthisdesk

I’m not doing very well at this am I?  To be fair, I’m not doing very well at much at the moment.  I am doing spectacularly rubbish at managing my pain levels and subsequently am triggering what hubby and I call ‘meltdowns’.  I’m not listening in any way whatsoever to what my body (or husband) is telling me, I just keep pushing the limits more and more.  I want to do more, I don’t want to blooming rest, I want to do stuff and accomplish tasks and be normal.  I want to remember a ‘thing’ for the entire time I’m doing it, not wander off half way through and return to the room hours later and wonder why there’s a half finished project scattered around. 

Our wonderful cleaner (hate that word, but don’t know what else to call her) is returning to our house today, for the first time since before Christmas.  Poor lass.  There is, quite literally, stuff everywhere as I seem to have a total inability now to remember to tidy up after myself or put things away.  And for those of you who have known me for a while, you know that’s just not me.

This weekend was memorable for far too many reasons.  I was shopping with my neighbour for a bed (yep, I know that sounds weird, I’m not explaining it though) and I saw the sofa of my absolutely perfect wish list.  It was everything I had wanted – and it was in a 20% discount on top of half price sale – and so even more perfect than ever before.  Still stupidly blooming expensive but that seemed to pass me by.  Our current sofa is getting on for 13 years old, it’s ruined.  The cushions have no substance, the bottom has no support and the cats have totally mullered the outside.  It’s costing me a fortune in osteopath fees because it ruins my back.  So hubby and I had said – that in an ideal world (that involved winning the lottery or gaining an inheritance) – we would get a new sofa in the sale.  We didn’t think it was ever going to happen as I’m so picky and precise, so the fact that I had seen this sofa in a shop was nothing short of fate.  So, Saturday I was wandering around shops looking for a bed, then Sunday I had to take hubby to the sofa shop for his opinion.  I say opinion, more permission to spend a scary amount of money on something we won’t see for at least six weeks.  Anyway, you get the picture; lots of walking, not much resting, certainly not enough water drinking.  So Sunday night, it all caught up with me, smacked me in the face like one of those cartoon demolition balls and just started the worst meltdown I’ve had so far, it was horrid.  I was totally irrational, snappy and argumentative and a horrid person.  No details necessary, I was a total bitch.  Ended with me being put to bed at 9pm and I slept through until noon on Monday. 

Sleeping that long is great, except you lose time in which to do stuff, like go to work and lead a proper life, so really, it’s not great.  And I wake up so very sore and starving hungry and mortified that I was such a cow.  It’s really not ideal.  I’m locked in a cycle of trying to be normal, but in fact there’s nothing normal about sleeping for 15 hours and being evil.  And not being able to go to work or get up and dress yourself like a human being.  And then the following days are ruined too.  Today for example, I have managed to crawl to work, I’ve done five hours and I’m knackered.  I want to go home and go to bed.  If I did, I’d happily sleep through until the alarm tomorrow morning, wake up sore and starving hungry and I’d crawl to work and off we go again.

So, I missed my first weigh in of the new year, but from what I can gather, it was carnage.  Really busy with new people full of good intentions to make this the year they lose that weight.  Good luck to them I say, I’m just trying to stay awake.

January 4, 2012

Another New Year

Posted in Health stuff, January tagged , , , , at 3:03 pm by viewfromthisdesk

New Year, new start, new intentions and all that.

I do sincerely hope you all had a lovely Christmas and New Year.  I don’t feel the need to get all politically correct and wish happy holidays and other such rubbish, it’s Christmas full stop.  I am very lucky in that the company I work for closes for two weeks over Christmas, so Tuesday 20th that was it, doors closed – well, after a lovely meal out which ruined any form of point counting for that day! 

And so it continued ……….

I was away for Christmas with my hubby and some wonderful friends.  An eventful holiday for numerous reasons; transport dramas, weather interferences, twisted knees, allergic reaction to washing powers, not enough sleep causing a horrid argument and way too much delicious food.  I gorged myself on potato-ness and pastry, on chocolate and cheeses and all manner of fabulous things in between.  Oh indeedy it was worth it.  So, I returned from one weeks holiday two pounds heavier than I went but I’m pleased to say that as of this morning, I have lost that holiday weight and it’s back to the porridge and ryvitas.  Bring on Monday’s weigh in, I’m ready for the challenge again!

The two weeks off work, and the lack of a structured day did bring to life how having that routine is essential to my wellbeing.  Forgetting to take my pain medication for example is a foolish mistake I never want to repeat.  Racing around a strange house and forgetting about steps is another.  We live and learn.  Hubby and I learnt that if I don’t wake up from ‘a nap’ bright eyed and bushy tailed as it were, I really should just be put back to bed and left for another ten hours.  We definitely won’t be making that mistake again.  Sleep seems to be the best medicine for me currently which is a bit of a difficult one as I’m not sure how I’m supposed to have a full time job and look after a house at the same time.  I’m really struggling to find out if I’m entitled to any form of help from any source, be it financial or physical.  I’m fed up with asking people to help me get dressed, to cut my food for me or to help me get around, it’s embarrassing.  I contacted the local CAB who said in order to do a ‘benefits assessment’ they would need to know all about hubby’s income and savings too which frustrates me as it’s not right that he should have to pay my share of the mortgage and bills etc or to have to subsidise my aids and equipment. 

I’m not wanting to stop work and be a drain on your hard earned tax payers money a la Jeremy Kyle.  I just want to be able to balance work and health.  That shouldn’t be too much to ask, surely?