October 26, 2017

Music makes everything better

Posted in October tagged , , at 1:07 pm by viewfromthisdesk

A couple of weeks ago I went to a concert.  The usual challenges occurred but I had an amazing time.  Music is absolutely a magical and powerful thing.  I heard songs for the first time even though I’ve sung along with them on my ipod for years.  I heard lyrics in a different way, I laughed, I cried, I had my heart broken and left feeling happy and sad in equal measures.  It was just a beautiful few hours.

Since then, my ipod seems to be in tune with my emotional well being.  The songs it shuffles out are so meaningful and deep.  It really has helped me deal with some thoughts and issues that have been flying around my brain recently.  And I’ve gotten goosebumps during songs, I’ve cried as I’ve sung along, I’ve woken up to how I’m feeling about life, the universe and everything.

And then I found this totally by accident but totally at the right time.

I thought about doing this as a once a day thing on social media but then I realised I’d forget to do it one day or something else would happen and equaly it would get boring or lost.  So I’m doing it once, here.

And because this is my blog and I make the rules, I may have tweaked a couple of them.  And I may have more than one answer or used an album instead of a song.  However, my one self imposed rule is that I cannot use an artist twice which was super tough.

Day 1 – a song you like with a colour in the title
– Blackbird by Alter Bridge
Day 2 – a song you like with a number in the title
– Highway 20 Ride by Zac Brown Band
Day 3 – a song that reminds you of summertime
– Goodbye Earl by Dixie Chicks
Day 4 – a song that reminds you of someone you’d rather forget
– War of the Worlds Soundtrack *Note – this isn’t a person I’d rather forget but a period of my life
Day 5 – a song that needs to be played loud
– Enter Sandman by Metallica
Day 6 – a song that makes you want to dance
– My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
Day 7 – a song to drive to
– Backstreet Symphony by Thunder / the entire Hysteria album by Def Leppard
Day 8 – a song about drugs or alcohol
– Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss
Day 9 – a song that makes you happy
– Days Go By – Keith Urban
Day 10 – a song that makes you sad
– You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell
Day 11 – a song you never get tired of
– Abandon by Dare
Day 12 – a song from your pre-teen years
– One and Only by Chesney Hawkes *Note – as cringe as this is, it’s all I sang aged 10 and 11
– Blood on Blood by Bon Jovi *Note – this is my teenage years, not pre-teen.
Day 13 – a song you like from the 70’s
– Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits *Note – I changed this to the 80’s
Day 14 – a song you’d love to be played at your wedding
– You are My Woman – Danko Jones
Day 15 – a song you like that’s a cover by another band
– Sound of Silence by Disturbed *Note – this was the first question I answered.  It’s beautiful.
Day 16 – a song that’s a classic favourite
– Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams
Day 17 – a song you’d sing as a duet with someone in karaoke
– Dead Ringer for Love by Meat Loaf and Bonnie Tyler *Note – not that I’d ever do karaoke
Day 18 – a song from the year you were born
– I was Made for Lovin’ You by Kiss *Note – thank you Google!
Day 19 – a song that makes you think about life
– Home by Daughtry
Day 20 – a song that has many meanings for you
– In Case You Didn’t Know – Brett Young
Day 21 – a song you like with a person’s name in the title
– Carrie by Europe / Lola Montez by Volbeat
Day 22 – a song that moves you forward
– Affirmation by Savage Garden
Day 23 – a song you think everyone should listen to
– 12 Redneck Days by Jeff Foxworthy *Note – I don’t think I should make anyone listen to anything because we all have different thoughts on music and taste.  I didn’t want to answer this question but this song is funny and is only played in December.
Day 24 – a song by a band you wish was still together
-November Rain by Guns N Roses *Note – I’m rubbish at whether a band is still together or not because in my opinion if it’s not the original line up it’s not the same band, so Bon Jovi without Richie Sambora is not Bon Jovi for example.  And Google says GNR have split up.
Day 25 – a song you like by an artist no longer living
– Hurt by Johnny Cash / Heavy is the Head by ZBB ft Chris Cornell
Day 26 – a song that makes you want to fall in love
– Faithfully – Journey
Day 27 – a song that breaks your heart
– Things my Father Said by Black Stone Cherry
Day 28 – a song by an artist whose voice you love
– Just Might (Make Me Believe) by Sugarland because Jennifer Nettles is amazing.  But everyone needs to hear Sky Hunter sing from StoneWire.
Day 29 – a song you remember from your childhood
– What About Love by Heart
Day 30 – a song that reminds you of yourself
– All Kinds of Kinds by Miranda Lambert / Strong Enough by Cher

 

Some questions were easier than others.  Some I really struggled with.  And there are artists that I’ve wanted to include but haven’t and feel guilty about that.  But I have 3428 songs on my ipod, it was a tricky task but such fun.  I’d like to know your thought on my list.  Did it make you listen to any new tunes?  What would your answers be?  Email me, introduce me to new artists and songs.  Share the magic.

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October 4, 2017

A double-edged sword

Posted in Health stuff, October, Weight Watchers tagged , , , at 11:50 am by viewfromthisdesk

I’ve shared recently about my eating issues – it’s been a really tricky six and a bit weeks if I’m honest.

I have gotten over the permanent nausea feeling, this just comes and goes now and is triggered by new smells usually.  There’s no consistency to what triggers the nausea though so I can’t avoid it.  And I’ve not been ill physically, I just feel rotten but eventually it passes.

But I still don’t want to eat.  I have no desire to eat, I have no urge to apply to face.  It’s really odd.  I’m eating because I know I have to.  There’s no taste, there’s no pleasure, it’s just a requirement of life and I hate it.  I really despise the fact I’m forcing the situation.  I don’t think this is linked to my ME or my fibro either.  The insomnia is but this weird not eating thing is different.

I love food.  I love the companionship of a meal with friends.  I hate the cutlery struggles and the efforts of sitting still but eating has always been a great positive.

And the double edged sword?  Weight loss.

I’ve lost half a stone in the six and a bit weeks.  No one has noticed and that’s pants because half a stone is a decent chunk.  I’m wearing jeans that I haven’t worn for five years and I’m sure I look different.  I’ve tried to tell myself that people don’t see the gradual change but even people I’ve not seen for ages haven’t noticed.  It hurts because I want that positive reassurance about my life.  No, I *need* that positive reassurance.  I know asking girls about their weight is a bit taboo but this girl wants to know.  This girl wants to understand they’re not insignificant, that they haven’t faded into the wallpaper, that they are noticed.

I’m unsure as to how to view this current situation.  I’m struggling to be positive because it’s not fun.  And I’m having this dilemma in my head that if I think ‘I could aim for this target weight by this date’ that I’m encouraging the not eating.  I’m sure this is just my over thinking things and being particularly sensitive right now but I promise you all, I want to eat, I want to be that greedy lass you all know and love.  I don’t like not eating because I feel sick or don’t feel hungry.  It’s not me.

It’s a tricky situation because I don’t know how to manage it.  I want people to notice the weight loss and make some comment.  I want someone to slap my bum as I walk past in these gorgeous levi jeans and say ‘looking good’ or wolf whistle at me.  Sexist and derogatory as that it, I just want noticing.  But I don’t want you to notice I’m not eating.  I don’t want you to ask what I managed to force down today.  I don’t want any comments about how half a sandwich isn’t enough or I leave half my meal because I’m super full.

So notice me but don’t notice the details. What could possibly go wrong with that request?!