June 2, 2017

Eating the Rainbow

Posted in June, Weight Watchers tagged , , , , at 12:32 pm by viewfromthisdesk

I’ve often written about my food demons, it’s not a new thing I’m springing onto the world this morning. I really struggle with my weight, it’s never under control, I’m never happy with the numbers on the scales or the way I look or feel.  Even when I finished the ww vouchers and had lost all that weight, I didn’t see the change, I didn’t feel any different and without that routine and structure and pressure to succeed, it’s all gone south.  I’m not as heavy as I was on my wedding day, that’s always been a big number to avoid for me and I’m managing that at least, but it’s still not enough.

I hate the fact that weight can go on in one meal but it then takes two weeks for it to come off.  I have zero patience in life let alone something as huge as body image and weight numbers.

So the other day I was watching something called ‘Doctor in the House’ on BBC.  I stumbled upon this the other week when there was a show about cluster headaches and the most recent one mentioned something called rainbow eating.  It’s all linked to better, healthier eating and getting a better balance of vitamins and stuff into your body.

Chatting to hubby about it, we are very much easy beige eaters.  We need to be better about what is on a plate.  It’s difficult because he only likes peas and doesn’t contemplate salad or fruit.  When I’m cooking – a task I hate – I don’t want to prolong the trauma by cooking stuff for him and other stuff for me, it’s just too much.  So we fall into a trap of not enough veg or fruit in a week, let alone a day.

Rainbow eating is as it sounds, you have to try and within one day eat all the colours – red (and pink), orange, yellow, green, blue (and purple), white and tan.

So this weekend I’m trying rainbow eating in a massive way.  Three days of really making an effort FOR ME.  I have to try something crazy and new to reboot my relationship and attitude to food.  I wish I could afford either a food delivery or a chef thing but it’s not an option.  I’d like to know how to cook new stuff but I don’t have the confidence to try and I find it pointless and unfulfilling when it’s just for me. So, my attitude is – how hard can just three days be?

So this morning I headed off to the supermarket and ended up with a trolley full of fruit and veg which was a new concept to me.  Aside from a tub of natural yogurt and a tin of salmon, this trolley could have been for a vegan I’m sure.

Day One, Meal One.

Red/Pink – strawberries, raspberries and cranberries.
Orange – mandarin oranges.
Yellow -grapefruit.
Green – grapes.
Blue/Purple – blueberries.
White – natural yoghurt. (added after picture)
Tan – raw cashew nuts.

It was tasty but yes, I ate it with a cake fork. I wanted to take my time and consider what I was pushing into my face.  I felt if I used a spoon, I’d just mindlessly shovel.

So between this meal and my next, I have an aim to drink two pints of water and keep busy.  When I’m not occupied I eat and that’s not good.  I need to be distracted but also mindful for three days so that maybe habits are changed.  And then after the two pints I guess I need to start washing and chopping stuff for meal two.

May 15, 2015

May 16th, one year on

Posted in Health stuff, Weight Watchers tagged , , , , , , , at 11:02 am by viewfromthisdesk

This time last year I was fretting somewhat about walking 5km.  It turned out alright in the end – aside from the outfit I chose to wear which is now buried in a cupboard somewhere I’m sure.  I can forget about the outfit when I remember how much money I raised with your generous help.

I decided not to do the walk this year; not because I’m a heartless individual who doesn’t care but because I just couldn’t be bothered to get off my bum and actually *do* something:  I’m lazy.

Rather than asking you for money for May 16th, I’ve been asking for stamps, for ribbons, for spoons.  It’s hardly comparable to exercise but honestly, it’s how my life is right now.

I’ve not jumped on the scales recently but I know I’ve put on loads of weight.  My last number display put me at the same weight as my wedding day which I’ve always considered to be my heaviest.  I know the numbers are bigger now.  But I’m totally unfazed by it, which isn’t great.

I know I’m more than curvy again now, but I simply don’t care.  I honestly don’t care.  I’m happy with what I’ve got.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shovelling bags of crisps into my face (I can’t remember the last packet actually) and I’m not scoffing takeaways 24/7, I’m actually eating reasonably but I’m just not active.  That’s the big issue.

I ache all over, I’m constantly attached to a heat pad or TENS machine.  I’m tired and I simply can’t be bothered.  Am I using my M.E. as an excuse?  No, I don’t think so.  I’m not going to walk 5km and cause myself to sleep for a fortnight and have to see a physio again.  I need to find something that fits around day work and night surveys and doesn’t hurt or exhaust me.

April 23, 2014

World Book Day

Posted in April, Weight Watchers tagged , , , , at 12:36 pm by viewfromthisdesk

Happy World Book Day!

I love reading, so it’s great there is a day to celebrate the written word.  And apparently, today would have been Shakespeare’s 450th birthday, so Happy Birthday Mr Bard!  I’m going to an event tonight at my library with a ‘thing’ by a local author.  Should be different and fun.

Today is also my week seven.  My end of my lent.  I am pleased to announce (not) that according to the scales this morning, I am heavier than I was at the start of lent!  I mean, what the heck?!!?  I have no clue, no answer and quite frankly, I don’t care anymore.  Honestly, I’m beyond giving a stuff. 

I am curvy.  I am greedy.  I have no self control or ability to not apply-to-face.  I am happy with myself, my clothes fit me.  Maybe I should try harder to stick to the fresh air and lettuce diet, maybe throw in nightly laxatives for a giggle. 

I’m not sad about this number.  It is just a number afterall.  I’m surprised as I have been trying to not be greedy, I have been rather restrained actually.

Numbers.  Pah.  I’m going back to my book and box of creme eggs.

March 19, 2014

week two over

Posted in March, Weight Watchers tagged , , , at 2:05 pm by viewfromthisdesk

I have to say this was the most foolish idea I’ve had for a while.  Giving up anything vaguely nice for lent.  Bleugh.

Anyway, according to the scales I’ve lost three pounds this week, so that’s a grand total of four so far.  Yey.  Makes me wonder how far I was off two pounds last Wednesday really.

I’m not sure how much I can attribute to my new diet of fresh air and mindfulness.  Or how much is down to a flu bug thing that my husband so very generously shared with me which meant I did – and ate – very little on Sunday and Monday.  Once my head is free of gank, I’m sure I’ll be another stone lighter too.

Until next Wednesday …

July 3, 2013

Quite frankly, it all sucks

Posted in Gluten Free, June, Weight Watchers tagged , , , , , , at 2:50 pm by viewfromthisdesk

Rant warning:

 

Being GF is rubbish.  The food is boring (apart from the sausages, but a girl can’t live on sausages alone) the bread products are expensive, small and hard and I can’t have kitkats.

About the same time as I went GF, I had to change one of my meds.  One of my major players in the pain management game.

Since this magical time, I have gained in excess of 20 pounds.  Yep, in practical terms, a stone and a half.  Almost, all the weight I lost doing WW.  But the stupid thing is – the scales tell me this, my clothes don’t.

And no one has to my face either.

So.  Do the scales lie by admission or do my friends and family lie by omission?

 

Either way, I’m clearly not doing well.  I really, honestly don’t get it though. I’m not eating anything rubbish – as I can’t.  The only factor I can think is that I’m eating more carbs – pasta, rice and spuds, especially of an evening.  Do I attempt to go Atkins on GF?  I’ve got to do something serious to bring these numbers under control.  I feel like the blog is starting all over again being as I’ve undone everything that this blog has covered.  The other option is change meds again.  And I can’t face that.  The changeover this time was horrific.

 

So, I’m reaching out for help.  Please.

April 30, 2012

Gold

Posted in April, Weight Watchers tagged , , , , at 4:18 pm by viewfromthisdesk

I finished ww with my loss totalling 23lbs which wasn’t too shoddy.  My ww leader said I should apply for a ‘special goal weight’ from my doctor because essentially, I’d never get to an accepted BMI number without chopping of limbs etc.  Anyway, long girly rambling story short, my doctor signed a form which said he was very happy with what I’d done and he wasn’t going to insist on my attempting to reach a BMI of 25.  Yey.  He even put on the form that my goal weight could be the weight I finished ww at.  Even more yey.

So now, I’m what’s known as a Gold member.  I get absolutely nothing for it, just a different coloured form to write the numbers of doom on it and I get to attend meetings for free as long as I stay within 5lbs of my goal weight.

Being as I hadn’t been for a month (and within that month had been away for two weeks, had Easter, returned to work and consumed a tin of chocolates and biscuits from Christmas) I figured I should get my act together and see how bad things had been.  Weirdly, last week said I’d maintained my weight which was flipping amazing as I know how much I’ve shovelled into my face.  I’ve found attempting to ‘maintain’ harder than I thought.  I can be good for breakfast and lunch and then come tea time I’m like a locust out of the bible plague, nothing is safe. 

Since last Monday, I’ve been even worse, it’s scary how little I’ve learnt and how un-responsible I am towards food.  So I figured I’d have to face up to the numbers again so I went again today.  The scales said I’d lost a pound.  I want to go yey and dance around the room but instead I’m rather dazed and confused.  How on earth have I lost a pound?

 

(PS I have also caught up with the technological world and am the owner of a smart phone, so any ‘app’ recommendations are fab!  Weight or health related or not, I don’t mind!)

April 11, 2012

ipod’s don’t swim in lemonade

Posted in April, Weight Watchers tagged , , , , , , , at 2:35 pm by viewfromthisdesk

A much known fact it would seem. Known by everyone except me!  Yep, I’ve killed my ipod and it wasn’t even my fault – a bottle leaked in my bag. I don’t know how much got into the inner workings, I’m hoping only enough to mash the battery and so a new one should solve the problem – once hubby has watched enough youtube videos to work out how to take it apart and change it and put it back together. Fingers crossed.  In the meantime, if you have an unloved ipod classic that would like a new home, you know where I am 🙂

I’m avoiding the point really.  I know I haven’t posted for ages and for that I’m sorry.  Especially if you were wondering or were worried.  I felt like I had nothing much to say to be honest.  I’ve had some more medical appointments with various people/sectors and I’m coming away from them rather disappointed and disheartened.  Nothing I – or any of you – can do, so why moan about it?  Have also not been great physically with regards pain levels and general joint failures and again, why moan about it when it’s a usual situation?  Life goes on as someone somewhere said once.

Aside from my average miserable-ness, I finished my twelve WW vouchers on Monday 19th March with a weight loss total of 23lbs.  Whilst I am certainly going to continue what I’ve learnt with regards portion sizes and content, I don’t know that I can honestly live a life of permanent abstinence.  I miss so much stuff and not just ‘junk’ either.  Cheese I appreciate isn’t fabulous for me, but the calcium in it is.  And I’m not going to eat half a pound of it in one go.  I miss nuts and seeds and fruit juices too which are all fairly ww-points-weighty.  I want to eat sandwiches and toast on occasion without then living off some watery vegetable soup for the rest of the day.  It’s going to be a time of adjustment I suppose, getting used to food and everything again.  This weekend though I have an evening out planned which involves some proper dressing up.  I have borrowed a dress which looks AMAZING currently and I want to do it proud.  I want to look at the pics next week and think that I didn’t actually look too bad.  So it’s porridge and ryvitas for a little while longer yet.

February 22, 2012

To partake or not to partake? That is the question!

Posted in February, Weight Watchers tagged , , , , at 4:20 pm by viewfromthisdesk

As you’ll be fully aware, yesterday was Shrove Tuesday. The day of lovely, pale yellow, yummy-ness.  In fact, the only day that hubby cooks, so it’s a win-win usually for me.

Except there’s the small matter of weight watchers.  Grrrr.

I was determined not to be defeated, so I found a ww recipe which gave a total of 2 points per pancake.  Horrah!  I did some sums and managed my day and then for tea had pancakes. Yum yum yum.  No sugar this year, just lemon and tonnes of fruit but oh my days it was lushious. Enjoy!

February 20, 2012

Weigh in number nine.

Posted in February, Weight Watchers tagged , at 3:03 pm by viewfromthisdesk

Weigh in this afternoon went well, if I do say so myself! Have lost another pound and a half so I have lost a grand total of eighteen and a half pounds. Yey.

Three more vouchers to go and I have a dilema. My personal target is only three and a half pounds away, which let’s face it, is really manageable even if I don’t try very hard! The leader has told me my 15% target is six and a half pounds away from today, and I really like the idea of that challenge, to get to that on my last voucher.  Maybe my valentines kitkat needs to be left in the fridge for a few more weeks however.

Anyway, for a bit of a giggle, here is what I was given today (if I can somehow work out how to include a photo!)  For my stone and my 10%.  Enjoy 🙂

February 18, 2012

Those beautiful BMI numbers

Posted in February, Weight Watchers tagged , , , , , at 11:20 am by viewfromthisdesk

On Monday at weight watchers, I hit my 10% target. I have no clue what this is 10% of or towards or what so please don’t ask! When entering my details online (not just satisfied with a piece of paper me, I like a coloured graph on the computer!) it told me that I should have seen an important change to my BMI, so I decided to have a see on the nhs website.

Well. I wish I hadn’t bothered in all honesty.  According to the nhs, because I haven’t been blessed with the tall genes, I am still a fat, lardy-arsed, heifer.  Yep, those words popped up on my computer screen, honest they did.

The day I got married, I was possibly the heaviest I have ever been.  On that day, my BMI was 34.01 a lovely ‘obese’ number for the nhs.  Which is fair enough, I was quite rotund.  On the day I started weight watchers, that BMI had fallen to 31.76.  Still obese, but I was heading from the bright red ‘imminent heart attack warning’ to the slightly less glaring orange ‘you’re still terribly unhealthy’.

So, on losing my stone with ww, my BMI is 29.13 and woohoo, I am officially overweight. A dark yellow rather than the belisha beacon orange, and more importantly, not obese anymore, yey!

My target (set by myself, no one else) is to lose a stone and a half with ww from when I started with them.  If (and it really is a big if) I manage that, my BMI would be 27.59 which still keeps me at overweight and cricky, where would all my feminine curves be then?  A further half stone ONTOP of that would make me 26.46 – losing two stone from first ww meeting still makes me overweight. Scary stuff really. Am I ever going to eat anything other than plain grilled chicken with salad or veg?

So, this got me a bit addicted.  What would it take for me to be ‘healthy’ in the eyes of some stupid mathematical computer program?  Apparently, ‘healthy’ is to be 25 or less.

To hit 24.96 which let’s face it, is scraping the barrel totally, I have to have lost two and a half stone since my first ww meeting.  Seriously?!!? I’m struggling with motivation now and it’s only been one!

To be 22.3, smack bang in the middle of healthy and a nice bright green colour on the graph thing, I would need to lose ANOTHER stone.  To be mid-range healthy for the nhs, I would have to weigh a very scary combination of the numbers eight and six.

Now, I’m very happy with what I’ve acheived so far.  Believe me, I am thrilled to bits, I LOVE the fact I can now pick up a size 14 and it will fit.  I am so appreciative of the well wishes and compliments I’m getting right now.  I KNOW I look better than I did before.  I know I look better in terms of attractiveness and skin clarity.  But to go from my personal target which is quite full-on as it is, to take off another two stone as well ……… Oh my days, honestly?!

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