October 30, 2018

October – the most bat-tastic month of the year

Posted in Monthly update, October tagged , , , , , at 12:53 pm by viewfromthisdesk

October is a fun month, and an excuse to visit every place possible just to see what bat tat is out there.  Love it.  Especially charity shops because they have the best bat related items – candles and jewellery and lovely things, none of this mass produced plastic rubbish.  Keep your eye out for pieces, I’m never going to say no to new bits!

Books were ‘Let Me Lie’ by Clare Mackintosh, ‘While I was Sleeping’ by Dani Atkins which has to be up there as one of my favourite books so far this year, ‘Thursdays in the Park’ by Hilary Boyd, ‘Still me’ by Jojo Moyes, ‘The Sunday Lunch Club’ by Juliet Ashton and ‘The Food of Love’ by Amanda Prowse,

In related big news; I was having a conversation with a friend about libraries and books and things.  She was telling me she got eBooks from the library which is an absolute revelation!  She is the voice of all sensibleness and has talked me off a worrying ledge far more often than she should.  It was her saying that rather than spend lots of money with tax-dodging Amazon (my words, not hers) on kindle books, I should investigate eBooks from the library.  So I did!  Turns out my kindle is too old to be used for library eBooks so I had to invest in a kindle fire.  Now, I hate technology and I hate gadgets and I hate spending money so of course I didn’t buy the most recent version of a fire and I didn’t spend a huge amount of money either.  Gotta love eBay!  Having spent a couple of hours shouting at it and turning off Alexa and all other interactive spying means on it, I managed to download the app I needed and then get an eBook from the library and read it within that first day!  Loved it.  I can only have four at a time for three weeks but it means I have another source of lightweight books that won’t kill my wrists, fingers or bank account!  I won’t split eBooks off in future months but this month I read an excellent one from the library called ‘Good Me Bad Me’ by Ali Land. I also read ‘The Things we Keep’ by Sally Hepworth, ‘Behind Her Back’ by Jane Lythell and ‘No Turning Back’ by Tracy Buchanan

Films were ‘Logan Lucky’, ‘The Hitmans’ Bodyguard’, ‘Blockers’, ‘Wanderlust’ which was awful and ‘Accidental Love’ which was so awful I didn’t watch beyond halfway.

Cinema might not have happened again.  It’s so expensive and there’s not much out there I feel is worth spending £30 on when I can get it on dvd soon enough.

Theatre was ‘The Winters Tale’ from the Globe Theatre in London and ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ which was the last of four in the Oscar Wilde season.  Both brilliant.

Live music might have been my most looked forward to event of the year: Daughtry in Birmingham.  Squee.  I’ve loved this band since they first formed and the night was not a disappointment.  Although the idiot that sat next to me kinda ruined things but I can pretend he wasn’t there to ruin my memories of the night.  What I have learnt from these last two months of many gigs and nights out is that I need to contain the quantity next year.  One big event a month as it’s taking me longer to recover from things.  So June 2019 my big event is seeing P!nk in Cardiff for example, other months it might be going to the Hippodrome in Birmingham.  The travelling and the stress and the energy needed to get through a night is just getting a bit too much right now.

Social life wise, I did a roost exit count with a new person and didn’t scare them off bat group activities, did a bat box check, collected care bats and supported others with bats.  I was nice to adults and children with equal distain at at ‘Discovering Bats’ event in Tewkesbury which I’ve done for the last five or six years, it’s always a fabulous day and I got noctule cuddles too which made the enduring-people-thing kinda worthwhile.  I attended a baby shower but had to leave early (for very good reason and the Mum-to-be utterly understood) I went to a race night which was bonkers fun.  Had one winner, didn’t quite break even for the night but it was a giggle.  Quiz night this month was hilarious fun.  We’ve worked out our perfect team of six and we each know a little bit of rubbish on various subjects – we’re not at all good at this, it’s just a giggle and there’s chips at halfway but this month, having languished in the middle-ish for all previous monthly tries, we WON.  We actually won the quiz!  It was a margin of one whole point and if we hadn’t noticed an adding issue then we wouldn’t have even come top five but we knew random stuff which got us through, we were so shocked.  One of the rounds was making a word from postcodes and we guessed every single one of them and yet got them all right.  Amazing what beer and chips does to the brain on a Sunday night.

I mentioned last month I was having issues with my hands.  I’m not going to write any more because I’m going to do a separate health update blog.

So.  Big News.  If you can handle any more this month!

I have cats again.
They are 11 months old and are two brothers called Albie and Diesel and they came from a rescue place of course.  There was a moment where there may have been proper fluffy kittens on the horizon but it didn’t work out and I have my new boys instead.  They are super shy and skittish and will need lots of love and patience but it’s fine because it’s not bat season any more and I have time to invest in them.  They arrived 7th October and they’re just lovely.  My clothes are covered in cat hair again, I’m having to tidy up everything behind me, the house is full of cat toys and I am so happy that honestly, nothing else matters.



October 1, 2018


Posted in Monthly update tagged , , , , , , , at 10:29 am by viewfromthisdesk

Books were ‘The Wife’s Secret’ by Caroline England, ‘Letters to My Daughters’ by Emma Hannigan, ‘Only Dad’ by Alan Titchmarsh, ‘Beneath a Burning Sky’ by Jenny Ashcroft, ‘Revenge of the Tide’ by Elizabeth Haynes, ‘Three Little Lies’ by Laura Marshall, ‘A Part of You and Me’ by Emma Heatherington, ‘The Lost Letters of William Woolf’ by Helen Cullen and ‘After You’ by Jojo Moyes

Films on DVD were Red Sparrow, American Made, Breathe and Downsizing, Churchill and Peter Rabbit.

Theatre was a transmission of ‘Merry Wives of Windsor’ from the RSC and I also saw Joe Lycett the comedian in Cheltenham Town Hall and the West End show ‘Matilda’ at Birmingham Hippodrome.

Cinema didn’t happen but I did play bingo for the first time in my life!  Hilarious fun but I didn’t win anything.  I totally see how people get into problems with gambling because the adrenalin rush is bonkers.  One more number, just one more number! Another quiz was done, 6/13 which isn’t shoddy but we came 3rd in August which was pointless b’cs there’s no prize for third.

Live Music was amazing this month, saw the 80’s rock legends that are Europe and then Halestorm.  Both fabulous nights out.  I have another concert in October to look forward to and I’m super excited about that one.

Big things happened. Which won’t seem big to you guys but at the time they were! I did the solo train thing again except I was put on by one person and met at the train door by the other which maybe makes it less solo and more assisted? This was so I could go to National Bat Conference which I hadn’t intended on going to b’cs of travelling and people and noise and everything. But I was lucky enough to be allowed a table in the Batty Bazaar room so instead of now being with 150+ people at breaks I could be in the room, selling bat tat, with much less people involvement – winner for me and a winner for the bats too. I did struggle to recover from conference, I didn’t get much sleep there so first evening back I slept for 12+ hours, but the headache, sore throat and mouth ulcers lingered a bit and I then didn’t sleep the following night which made me annoyed that I’d slept so well the one night.

I am struggling with sleep again.  It’s getting annoying now.  I’m utterly shattered at about 9pm but when I go to bed I’m wide awake again until close to 3am.  It’s meant I’ve had to shift my working hours a smidge so I’m grateful for that flexibility but it’s super frustrating.  And it doesn’t matter what I do during the day or evening or pre-bed, I just don’t sleep.  Am super thankful for friends in America and Canada who are awake with me and able to play scrabble with me to stop me totally losing my mind.

I’m also struggling with pain in my hands.  I’ve managed this so far for a number of years with various techniques and strappings but this month it’s got a lot worse and I’ve not been able to manage it with what has worked so far.  I’m reluctant to go to the doctors as I suspect that new tablets are the only solution and increasing my baseline pain meds but if it doesn’t settle I may well have to go.  I’m hoping it’s just the changing weather and my being a bit run down generally but we shall see.

I’m not really finding an even keel at the moment, I’m not running at full battery shall we say.  I’ve had to change my working pattern to an every other day thing and starting later.  I’ve not found working later in the evening (7pm type later) a challenge as it’s quiet in the office and I get stuff done but I know it’s hard for the people I work with that I’m not here every day and at usual working hours.  I need to find a new normal and quickly.

It felt like I did a million bat walks but I think it may have only been three but as they all involved children it counts as a thousand each.  It’s been a busy month and the weather is confusing the bats so it’s all still all over the shop.  Normally the second week of September is stop time for bat work but as the weather is so good, it’s all still happening.  And so the bat care side of my life is still super busy.  And we’re getting species we’ve never had in care before, species that shouldn’t really be found where they were.  Certainly new biological records for the area which is exciting.

In personal news, a massive life changing thing was completed and finished on the 1st September.  It had been a huge financial and time burden and it’s now over.  I can now think about the future and be more confident in my plans.  I’ve even started looking at a possible holiday!  Finger crossed it all works out because I’ve not left Evesham since December 2018 (conference aside, but that’s not a holiday!) and I really need to escape.  As next year my birthday is a zero year I’d like to make the effort to go somewhere special – outside of bat season of course!

July 31, 2018


Posted in July, Monthly update tagged , , , , , at 10:18 am by viewfromthisdesk

Month seven.  Already.

Books were ‘The Guilty One’ by Lisa Ballantyne, ‘The Dead Ex’ by Jane Corry, ‘The Family Next Door’ by Sally Hepworth, ‘After You Left’ by Carol Mason, ‘My Husband’s Wives’ by Faith Hogan and ‘Little Fires Everywhere’ by Celeste Ng. Only six, which isnt much really.  I keep getting sucked in to buy 99p books on Amazon, then I’m disappointed by them.  The whole ‘because you read this book, you should read these’ kinda messages.  I’m going to go back to free books by unknown people because then I’m not disappointed.

Films were ‘Finding Your Feet’, ‘Wonder’, ‘The Shape of Water’ and ‘I, Tonya’

Theatre was An Evening with Griff Rhys Jones, ‘Everybody’s talking about Jamie’ and RSC transmission of Romeo and Juliet.

No cinema this month.

Bats – it’s a crazy kind of month, I’m still hand rearing the seven with various other residents creeping in.  I was nice to people for the Vale Wildlife open day and Hinton village fete.  I planned a new bat walk route and then did the walk with lots of lovely new and generous peeps, two NBMP field transact surveys, a roost count, a dusk surveys and a dawn.  Reasonably busy I suppose, but not as much work as I’d have liked.

Outpatients occurred on the 4th July.  Stitches out (it wasn’t as simple as that but I cannot share the gruesome details) and immediate discharge.  I was expecting a follow up to check I was healing okay but nope.  So I treated myself to a pedicure which was lush, and that first shower entirely contributed to the hosepipe ban.  I’d really like to say that’s the end of my medical dramas for the month but alas, it is not.  On the 29th, Jack notmycat bit me the day after his one year fostering anniversary, the ungrateful individual.  Usually it would be fine with a bit of alcohol cleaning but he made three holes in my finger and it wouldn’t stop bleeding so off to A&E I was dragged.  Massive bandage and iodine wraps and two lots of evil antibiotics later they let me leave.  No injections thankfully.  But these antibiotics are having awful side-effects – which I was warned about – but I’m still super grumpy because it hurts lots and it’s affecting everything I do.  Typing, writing, holding things, ugh.  If only I wasn’t allergic to penicillin!


May 31, 2018

May list

Posted in May, Monthly update tagged , , , , , , , at 6:14 pm by viewfromthisdesk

May is a strange month. Bat work starts in earnest and I’m usually struggling to adjust my sleep patterns. This year has been no different.

Theatre this month was an NTLive transmission of Macbeth. I umm’d and ahh’d about going after how brilliant the RSC transmission was last month, I was offered a bat survey job the same night too but I went because I love Shakespeare. Alas, I have learnt the hard way that I do not love Rory Kinnear or Macbeth set in a post apocalyptic civil war type zombie setting. I left in the interval and wish I’d said yes to the survey. I also went to see the local am-dram group do an evening called ‘Once upon a song’ which was as the name suggests; different songs from films and musicals etc.

Cinema was ‘The Mercy’ with Colin Firth. Interesting subject matter but some of the camera angles made me feel quite queasy

Music was a band called ‘The Pleasuredome’ who were at an 80’s night fundraising event.

Films I watched were ‘Pitch Perfect’ 2 and 3, ‘Stronger’, ‘Molly’s Game’ which I’d wanted to see at the cinema but never made it and ‘Film Stars don’t die in Liverpool’

Remember last month I took part in a quiz in a pub? We thought 14th out of 16 teams wasn’t too bad.  So we went to the May one and came 5th out of 9 teams. Not sure that’s much better than before but as working that out involves maths, I’m not going to try. I can’t go to the June one because I’ve got a bat thing scheduled but if it rains I guess we’ll end up at the pub.

Books in May were ‘My Husband’s Wife’ by Jane Corry and ‘The Other Woman’ by Sandie Jones – both new authors that I want to now read more by, ‘The Misbegotten’ and ‘The English Girl’ both by Katherine Webb, ‘All fall down’ by Jennifer Weiner which was all about maintaining the perfect facade for the world whilst your life is actually going to pot, was a bit too close for comfort. ‘The Shadow Wife’ by Diane Chamberlain, ‘Never Alone’ by Elizabeth Haynes, ‘In her Wake’ by Amanda Jennings, ‘Close to Home’ by Cara Hunter and ‘The Stranger’ by Saskia Sarginson.  Only ten books this month, slightly more than last month – you can tell my evenings are busy with bat stuff now!

Health wise, it’s much the same, the things that were playing up in April have not really eased up. My joints are bad, even the warm weather hasn’t helped improve matters because when it’s warm I try and do too much which is stupid. I saw a new doctor about the lump on my foot which has been there for about fourteen months. It’s a curious situation as I hate feet – especially my own, so having someone up close and personal was utterly cringe. So it transpires I have a cyst of some fancy name and it’s never going to go away on it’s own or with what my GP and I were doing. So under the knife I will go again. Apparently they have to cut down to the bone joint and remove the cause of the cysts which are usually bone spurs. On occasion, metal rods have to be inserted to immobilize the joint. All under local anesthesia!!! And because Warwickshire NHS are flipping brilliant, I have had my pre op today and actual op booked in for June. Is 2018 my year for removing all my curious lumps and bumps?!

Bat wise its been a tiny bit bonkers. This month I’ve done three bat walks, one bat box check, one roost count, one building survey, two and a half dawn surveys and five dusk surveys. Typing it out doesn’t make it seem like much but I know it felt like much more each week. There has also been the usual increase in care call outs.

My desire to hermit has not gone away and having lots of bat work has helped because it’s dark and no one has to be chatted to for a couple of hours. Except the bat walks, when I have to turn on the charm and enthusiasm then. I’m over thinking things and finding the glass half empty in everything. Comfort eating has returned with vengeance and so my dislike of myself has the added ‘greedy cow, you’re disgusting, of course no one likes you’ layer. I’m avoiding social situations if I can and I’m not sleeping. Nothing like a 3am conversation with yourself to dredge up tonnes of self negativity and criticism. During the day I’m trying to work against these thoughts by focusing on the garden, watching stuff grow, seeing seeds emerge, planting out vegetables, pruning and weeding and supporting. My sweet peas match my clematis which was utterly unplanned but looks beautiful.

This too, shall pass.


May 18, 2015

Turn up for the books

Posted in May tagged , , , at 12:29 pm by viewfromthisdesk

I did something wild and crazy this morning.

I stood on the scales.

I know.  Scary and mental and why-the-heck-for moment there.

But it says that I’m not *actually* as heavy as I thought I was.  I’m even lighter than the wedding day numbers!  Shock, gasp, surprise!

I’m blaming the lack of numbers in the consumption of my own-body-weight in home made rhubarb ice cream.  Whilst it is pure cream, there was a huge amount of home grown rhubarb in there too.  And I didn’t have tea, just pudding!  Plus, there was a traipsing around a wood yesterday, a mooch along a river bank on Saturday and then the total re-arrangement of the middle floor of the house.

Whilst I now have generated a very lovely guest bedroom, I have utterly destroyed my bat care room and there is no landing anymore, just a Krypton-factor-esque scramble to the next set of stairs.

Every night this week I’m on something bat related so I absolutely must remember to not take bags sugary sweets, not accept cake (just mugs of tea) and dance to the tunes in my head whilst waiting for the cute ones to do something worth writing down.

I’m still lazy, I’m still attached to heat pads or TENS; I’m just dancing (more swaying tbh) this week for a change.

March 23, 2015

Something good happened

Posted in March tagged , , , at 2:47 pm by viewfromthisdesk

I know I went on a bit about Mothers Day and perhaps I went a bit far for some people, but if I can’t be honest here then there’s no point me even writing.  But out of that last note I had some really good conversations with people about various things and it’s been good.

Mother’s Day came and went, as days do.  The passage of time doesn’t change just because of a particular calendar event.  But I was recipient of a random act of kindness which utterly blew me away.  I had an email last weekend simply telling me that Mr and Mrs S had been over and given my Mum some daffs for the day.  My sister and I were in tears.  Not because we were sad but because it was such and utterly amazingly lovely thing for this couple to do for us.

Mavis 1-20150314-122254


And then yesterday, I went to a village church that I’ve been doing some bat stuff with over the past year or so and they had their Mothers service.  Posies of flowers were given to all the Mums and then the ones that were left over were available for people to put on the altar step in memory of their Mums with angel wings.  Mine is the very end one on the right.  It was beautiful and simple and super special that I was able to honour my Mum at a Mothers Day service for the first time in nearly 30 years.  I’ve stolen this photograph, it was taken by Lisa James and was loaded onto faceache.


lisajames hinton



And then, as if the day wasn’t good enough; they had cups of tea and a lemon meringue pie for post-service.  Well, in the interests of integrating into the village, I couldn’t say no could I?  That would be rude!

Oh, and there was bat pooh in the tower too.  Woop woop.

November 21, 2014

How was it for you?

Posted in November tagged , , , at 10:46 am by viewfromthisdesk

How was your World Kindness Day?  Did you get a surprise card or bunch of flowers?  I hope your Thursday was full of smiles.

I’ve started getting what my medical peeps call cluster headaches.  Attacks that come on suddenly, for no reason and make me feel like my head is both stretching to exploding point and sucking into itself via my eyeballs at the same time.  No trigger necessarily, not just when I’m at work or at home or in the morning or afternoon.  And sometimes they’ll last an hour or so, the longest I’ve had is three days.  I hate them.

But in a week’s time, I’ll be on Lundy.  And you all know what that place means to me and how much it fixes me.  Please keep everything crossed on December 1st that the helicopters are not affected by weather or mechanical gremlins and that I get an early trip across.  Not just because I selfishly want to get there as soon as possible, but so I don’t get into a total tizz having to listen to the noise of the machines (I’m so scared of them, honestly, I really, really hate helicopters) and trigger a ME fail.


Whilst I’m here, I’d love it if you’d consider using easyfundraising whilst you do your online shopping.  Food, pressies, insurance, train tickets and concert tickets too – just loads of retailers are involved like John Lewis, Amazon, Ticketmaster, pet food suppliers, grocery retailers and there are millions of good causes to choose from.  I’m possibly suggesting Evesham Bat Care ………… 😉

November 5, 2014

Starting over again

Posted in November tagged , , at 11:19 am by viewfromthisdesk

This is a positive post 🙂

Since I’m enjoying doing my ribbon wreath, albeit a bit at a time I’ve made plans for my next wreath which I’ll make out of those tiny baubles that are about an inch diameter.  Baubles plus ring plus glue gun equals creating giggles and fun and a fabulous new thing to show I’m still able to craft and make pretty things. Something kinda like this I guess.  My sister is talking about making a pom-pom one so I’d best stock up on glue sticks whilst raiding the charity shops for tiny baubles!


I’m also needing to raise money for the bat care work.  The promotion of sponsor a bat for a fiver and give it any name you want is almost popular; we’ve had Jared Leto, Johnny Rotten and Mr Fluffy plus a couple more, but the hope that I’d have some proper rock star names hasn’t quite been achieved. However, all sponsorship will help the cute ones next summer.

In order to try and raise a bit more I’m thinking I’ll dig out all my card making stuff again.  The effort to sell it all didn’t really work so why not do something I love, with stuff I have, to raise money for something else I love?  Maybe if I’m not trying to make a living from it, I’ll get more pleasure out of it?

So, don’t forget me or the critters for upcoming events 🙂

July 16, 2014

A positive challenge

Posted in July tagged , , , at 9:47 am by viewfromthisdesk

So.  On a certain social media website, I have been ‘nominated’ (challenged) to write three positive comments every day for five days.  Being as I can’t even write a blog post every week just once, I figured that was a potentially tricky challenge!  So … I’ve come to the decision I will write as many positive comments as I can think of, when I remember to write!  No wingeing, no woe-is-me, just happy good things.

1 – Last Friday I went to a family wedding and saw loads of people that I haven’t seen for simply ages.  The sun shone and it was a gorgeous day. Love and hugs and profiteroles.  Result.

2 – At said wedding, I wore a frock.  This fact is unremarkable except I wear a frock possibly twice a year at most and this frock I haven’t been able to wear for two years since I finished WW.  I lost 12lbs in 5 weeks to wear this frock and NO ONE noticed.   But I know I looked good in it b’cs I’ve got a photo on my phone to prove it!

3 – My Godfather is coming to visit me at home today.  He lives far away and I see him maybe once a year so it’s going to be a fab afternoon of tea and chats and maybe a cheeky slice of cake. I can’t wait.

4 – I have a bat walk planned for the park next Friday (25th at 9pm if anyone is interested lol) and it’s going to be glorious weather (I’ve decided) so fingers crossed for some peeps turning up and enjoying my ramblings.

5 – I went to Oxford two weekends ago and found a beautiful silver bat charm for my bracelet.  I have bought it in honour of Bollinger and since it’s been in my possession, I’ve felt great calm with regards my attitude to what I did for him and how things turned out.  I did not fail him, nature just works that way sometimes.

6 – I had the appt at the pain clinic on Monday to borrow the TENS machine from the NHS.  I figured I’d take full advantage of the appt b’cs I’ve jolly well paid taxes for all my working life and rah rah rah!  I do have one of my very own, kindly posted to me by my Aunt and I’m now searching for new sticky pads for it (Boots are useless) b’cs I’m really liking this machine.  Feels a bit odd for ten seconds or so when I switch it on, but I do believe it will be a great help and reduce the amount of top-up drugs I need to take.

7 – Our Tom and Barbara summer is going well.  We have ten chickens (producing two eggs boo hiss) but so far we’ve been harvesting spuds and broad beans and runner beans and beetroot and sweet peas.

8 – It is less than one month until my birthday and I’m getting terribly exciting.  Attempting to resist the urge to check my Amazon wish list every ten minutes to see what has fallen off – for the time being at least.

9 – I have some top friends that I am lucky to spend time with;  in reality and over the interweb.

10 – I have booked a return trip to Lundy and you all know how much that place works magic for me.

July 2, 2014

Struggling with emotions

Posted in Bat Work, July tagged , , , at 12:13 pm by viewfromthisdesk

I was really looking forward to writing this post, I was so excited to tell you about a new direction my life has taken, and then it all went horribly wrong.  You all know about my bat work and this season I’ve decided to also take on bat care.  Someone else will play taxi but I’ll be the one looking after the little thing.

Our first bat at Evesham Bat Care (gotta have a zippy name to help fundraising!) was Absinthe; she was a Pipistrelle who had been badly mauled by a cat.  She died overnight from her injuries and it was no surprise.  She was heavily pregnant and her torso was massively bruised, so the shock would have done her in.

Our third bat was Marley.  She was a female Serotine, who would have given birth in the last few weeks.  She too had been gotten by a cat, but she hadn’t been found until early afternoon, so she was hugely dehydrated, very cold and her one wing was just lace work really.  She would never have been able to fly again, but nature took over and after a big drink and half a meal worm, she died overnight too.

Our second bat was Bollinger. He was a juvenile Serotine too. He was found in the pub car park of a rock bar.  They named him Bruce.  We assume after Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden.


He was taken in on Saturday 21st June and he spent his first night elsewhere and I took him in on the Sunday.  This picture was taken yesterday (Tuesday 1st) and this was the first time he had stretched both wings out at the same time.  He was very little and had no teeth when he arrived, he was a proper young ‘un as it were.  I fed him four times a day and took him to work and everything.   He was a gorgeous little fella and everyone who met him loved him.  He had his own facebook page and was gathering followers at a rapid rate!  I had him for ten days and was chatting to another bat carer about time scales for flight testing him.  But then he died suddenly yesterday morning.  I was gutted.  I honestly thought he was going to make it.

So I’ve been dealing with the high of having a new direction, a new focus and the joy of seeing Bollinger grow and learn new skills, but then the heart break of him suddenly passing.  He was a total cutie and taught me so much.  I shall miss him – which is daft because I was happily planning releasing him – but this was so cruel, so sudden.

Who knows what bat number four will be or what state, but I hope the outcome of them will be more positive.