January 29, 2014

Something cheerful.

Posted in January at 2:31 pm by viewfromthisdesk

I’ve just finished reading Freya North’s ‘Rumours’ – brilliant book.

I’m off to make another cuppa, shout at the chickens and start Lindsay Stanberry-Flynn’s ‘The Piano Player’s Son’.

Although, not necessarily in that order!

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Trying to explain.

Posted in Health stuff, January tagged , , at 9:27 am by viewfromthisdesk

My last post didn’t really help anyone. You worried and I couldn’t handle the contact it created.

You know when you take a jumper off and sometimes you get stuck in the body bit? I feel like that. It’s dark, my hands are halfway up the sleeves and useless and I’m not sure whether to start again. And asking for help is futile because I don’t know if I want arms or head out first or actually, whether I want my jumper back on now.

So, I’m taking this week to try and organise my head. To calm the thoughts and make some order. I am being entirely selfish. Books to read and films to watch and tea to drink. I’m enjoying the silence of my days and hoping for a good frost tomorrow as forecast so I can curl up on my beanbag in the kitchen and watch the garden sparkle and look pretty.

Normal service will hopefully resume soon. Hopefully.

January 24, 2014

Scared.

Posted in Health stuff, January at 4:14 pm by viewfromthisdesk

I’m not coping with this. By ‘this’ I mean everything and anything. Emotionally and physically.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know who to ask for help.

It’s overwhelming. I want to sleep but I’m not tired, I just want it to be dark and quiet. I want to escape and hide.