January 20, 2015
It’s all about the mugs.
My last entry to this online diary stirred up quite some interest. Not in me of course, but in the mugs that I’d been talking about with such praise. I feel I need to share the love, so you can all understand why I’ve been wittering on.
The first mystery parcel contained ‘Goddess’ and ‘Overworked/Underpaid’. An additional mystery parcel last night contained ‘The Boss’ I have the bestest friends, I really do.
I’m going to save the box that one came in to put the contents of my 2015 gratitude jar into. That way, the box is an instant reminder of a good thing as well as the notes within.
The others I desire can be found on my Amazon wishlist:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/registry/wishlist/9FG8SFUUW5QG
Or the actual website for the whole range by this artist can be found at:
I’m still wobbly but down to one crutch though which is progress. Being smothered in ibruprofen gel each night isn’t quite my version of romance, but one can’t be picky at my age. Managing as well as can be expected which is good enough for me today.
January 14, 2015
Random acts of Kindness
Last year I tried to do this. I sent some cards, gave some flowers, tried to surprise people and say ‘thank you’ and ‘I appreciate you’ and make them smile.
I didn’t truly appreciate how fabulous this activity is until just now. I was honest last week and said I wasn’t great, which wasn’t a lie. Wednesday through to Saturday evening were totally written off. I made it to the rugby on Saturday but I was held together with neoprene and held up by crutches and friends. I didn’t jump up and down, I didn’t expend too much energy on the game, I just enjoyed mud-covered fit-men and felt proud of myself that I’d made it out. Sunday wasn’t ideal, I was able to move around by clinging to walls or hubby. I had to turn down a bat activity which just about ruined me emotionally.
Monday was AofK #1. A friend had treated me to a spa day and it was lovely. I’ve never been a girly-girl and so this was an interesting experience. I had a gorgeous massage and delish afternoon tea. I felt spoilt. When I got home I had a banging headache which I put down to not drinking enough through the day but I couldn’t shift it. Early to bed for me with rather a large handful of painkillers.
Yesterday was AofK #2. All through December and into January I’d been entering competitions to win a certain set of cups on the internet. I was desperate to win these blinking cups. And I didn’t, but a friend did and I was horribly jealous. My headache from Monday hadn’t abated all day and I was feeling really down. I was utterly beaten into a mess of pain and emotion. I was falling asleep at my desk and was begging to be taken home. All I wanted to do was go to bed and never wake up, I felt that pathetic and rubbish. So I was put to bed and hubby woke me at 6pm to feed me. Yesterday, whilst I was at work, a box was left with my neighbour which hubby fetched whilst I was asleep and within said box were two of these cups. I cried with happiness, I really did.
I felt so touched, so blessed to have these people in my life. I felt fantastic – my cheeks hurt from smiling so broadly. I felt humbled; the whole ‘why me?’ thing flying around my brain, battling for space with my headache. So, if you have the opportunity to do something nice, do it. Just do it because not only will you feel brilliant, your recipient will feel a thousand times more brilliant. And if you want to practise your random acts of kindness on me, I’m not going to object 🙂
January 8, 2015
Being honest
I’ve being going on for years about how I need to be more honest about how I’m feeling and how I can’t use the phrase ‘I’m fine’ to cover all my lies.
So, deep breath ….. today is a bad day.
There you go. It’s out there. It’s flying around like an enormous neon sign, telling the world that I’m really rather useless and pathetic and rubbish.
Last night I got home from work feeling okay, I fetched firewood, lit a fire, watched some tv and then slept for nearly two hours. Spent the rest of the evening feeling groggy, nauseous and cold. Went to bed and slept for twelve hours. Failed to get up for work at the appropriate time and didn’t wake until 11.59am.
I now feel utterly rubbish. Weak as a kitten, groggy and fuzzy and ache like I’ve been in a fight. Really light sensitive and my hands and wrists are KILLING me. Couldn’t put my work trousers on because after fastening my bra, I couldn’t work the zip and buttons. So I’m in the office with soft trousers and a jumper. Get me looking professional as heck.
If ever there was a time I wanted to be able to crawl back into a cave and hide and cry and pretend that reality isn’t happening, this is it. Honesty is horrid.
January 2, 2015
Same stuff, different date
I wanted to get excited about the New Year. I really did. Yey me! Got to the end of another 365 day cycle of the usual stuff. But by 11pm I was falling asleep, and whilst I managed to stay awake until the witching hour, when I then fell gratefully into bed, I couldn’t sleep.
ARGH.
I haven’t made any resolutions. I never manage to keep them so why set myself up for a crushing pile of self loathing towards my failure? I’m a typical girl – I want to loose weight but I make this announcement whilst imagining I’m shoveling an entire tub of crimble chocolates into my face. I want to try and be more active but I’m planning on spending the weekend sat on the sofa in my ‘jamas with fluffy slippers and a blanket over my knees. I want to be more positive about my condition but pah, what’s the point.
I’m not really lying head-first in a bowl of raspberry angel delight but I am a bit flummoxed by the whole New Year thing. For starters, it doesn’t feel like we’ve had Christmas and New Year and all that goes with it – it’s not been cold enough for starters! Why is it so mild and confusing?
The best thing about the change in calendars is that yesterday I tipped out my 2014 jar. Whilst it wasn’t as full of notes as the first year I did it, I blame this entirely on my lack of doing things with people. I was rather introverted last year. So, here’s to a new year, a new me and a new jar!
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