November 9, 2023
It’s been a while
Sorry.
I honestly thought I’d written stuff since the feet icky ness but it would appear that if I did, it was entirely in my imaginary world. Hey ho.
My foot is still gross but the toe is vaguely normal ish. Well, if the light is dim and you squint at it. I was supposed to see the consultant in September but they haven’t sent me an appointment yet. The diabetic nurse doesn’t like how it is still red and gross but she doesn’t like anything. I shall wait for a bit longer. I don’t want anyone touching my feet to be honest.
I finally gave in and had some bloods done back in the summer. My numbers were very bad indeed and I got told off and given some more pills to take. I couldn’t get her to understand that bread is cheap and non carb products are not. Apparently money shouldn’t come before my health but that doesn’t pay the bills love.
Botox was working fabulously until this last batch where I had two weeks of evil ness after the jabs. With hindsight this is no different to the very first appointment and so I am trying to look on it as the other jab sessions were calm and now and again my poor body has to have a sulk at 37 injections into my head. At the last appointment, the lovely nurse said as it was coming up to one year since we started this adventure, we needed to discuss a ‘cooling-off’ period. Basically I don’t get jabbed for three months and we all hope I don’t commit murder. I’m hopeful I can have my jabs in December which is my one year but then miss or delay the March one as I’ll be on holiday and distracted and too busy to find a blunt, rusty weapon. I’ll let you know.
Bat season was as mad as usual. We had some real cuties come into care this summer and we had a really good hand-rearing success rate. Of course at the time we were all absolute zombies and grumpy as heck but now we are smiling and planning our last fundraising event before hibernation.
I’ve been trying to sew more, keep me out the fridge and all that but events to sell my wares at are few and far between. Mostly because being nice and friendly is exhausting. I’m relying on my facebook page to sell the bits themselves. Who doesn’t want a felt gin bottle tree decoration anyway?! I’ll take my bits to the bat care conference at the end of this month and i have one christmas feyre event too. I was hoping to do a local school fete at Ashton under Hill but it clashes with a temping date and I can’t find anyone to go in my place and sell my birds and decorations instead. So just the two events and faceache.
My plans for my big life change in 2024 got scuppered when the Church of England sacked me back in August. I am no longer allowed to do services on Sundays, nor am I working towards my new career in funeral ministry either. In fact I’m essentially banned from my former churches for fear of ‘an attitude or bad feeling between the vicar and me’ so no services, no coffee mornings, no events. I’ve been voted off all the committees and somehow everyone has been convinced to blank me too. So no social life and no friends now.
I’m trying to be flippant. Trying to make a joke about it but I’m incredibly sad. ALfM was going to replace three jobs that make me very poorly and give me no work/life satisfaction. I loved working with the families in honouring their person. Sunday services gave me joy in seeing people, I thought I’d made friends, I found happiness in being out the house, great architecture and excellent tea and cake afterwards. Knowing I was busy on a Sunday morning made me plan my diary properly, allocate time for resting and studying. In the last two years (since covid) that I’ve been doing ALM, my ME crashes have been minimally impactful and thankfully short lived. Going to events such as coffee mornings encouraged me to work on my social skills, forced me to not hermit. Summer and Yule fetes made me focus on fundraising and fun events. Now, aside from work, it feels like I have no reason to leave the house. I often considered in the past that my life had no ‘grand purpose’ but ALM and ALfM gave me something I was very proud of. I absolutely loved every second of the five years and to have it all gone is hard to deal with. Plus, the people I would typically turn to for chats and guidance are now out of my social circle. I heard some tough words and hard opinions about me. I’m struggling big time and the weather doesn’t help as it exacerbates the joint issues and exhaustion. Woe is me eh.
Hubby is busy with steam engines of course and he is just aware that I’m at home more now and wondering where he is. He has never understood my relationship with the church and how I enjoyed all these things but he did like me being busy so that he could be away from home too. I’m hopeful that once December is over I can stop feeling so empty and find something new to fill this hole in my life. Sewing birds and hanging decorations is all well and good, but I need to sell them on otherwise I’m sewing to hoard things and that is not a solution!
Check out ‘Crafted by Chelle’ on the ol’ facebook if you have a moment. Even if you don’t buy something please like/share/promote/discuss and all that. Small businesses and home crafters are really struggling against big businesses. And I’d like the ego boost of a notification!
December 29, 2022
Catching Up
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Since that phone call from the headache nurse, I haven’t really had much to share.
We found a kitten which we called Malcolm who was in our life for 30 hours and was utterly gorgeous. Alas, his owners finally realised he was missing and claimed him back.
We went on holiday and had some lovely experiences exploring a new part of the world in October and thankfully did not come back with covid this time.
Early November was my four year anniversary of my Type2 diagnosis. I’m still not on top of my diet but hey ho.
Our tenants moved out of both the new builds within a fortnight of each other. It was sad times but they’ve got their forever homes now and new people have moved into the houses.
I got my carpel tunnel jabs again, foolish decision to make but these have actually worked this winter so I’m super happy. Crafting again has been amazing. Simply heartwarmingly amazing.
And then.
And then on the 5th December I got my botox. 31 jabs in my forehead, scalp, neck and shoulders. Not going to say that element was overly fun. Nor was the following two weeks of adjustment but now it’s settled down, things are calmer. I’m taking less medication to keep my sanity levels and I just hope, pray, wish this lasts as long as possible until the next appointment.
My funeral training is progressing. I’ve finished the official training and now it’s all on-the-job mentoring and learning. Alas, people are going for officiants and not church based funerals so the training opportunities are lacking at the moment. It will come, I’m sure.
So I hope you all had the festive period you wanted. I hope you’ve eaten more cheese than you knew you could and decided on your absolute favourite Quality Street. May all our New Years be calm, full of love and pain free.
Chelle x
viewfromthisdesk 