June 22, 2022
Covid Day 11
Wednesday. One week on from hubby testing negative. I had a couple of meetings in the diary so I needed to test too.
FINALLY.
Just finally.
No, I don’t feel ‘better’ yet. I’m still shattered, still unable to taste or smell, still struggling with the aches and sore eyes and nausea. But today, I can gloss over all that because I finally have a negative test. FINALLY.
My 11am meeting was super important. So very pivotal to my future plans. I can’t say anything until its official but it went well and I’m hopeful I can share the news soon. We all need something cheerful to read on here.
Enjoy the sunshine people, it’s going to rain on Friday. Keep washing your hands and no close contact with randomers. Rules.
June 19, 2022
Day 8
Sunday.
Yep. Still positive. Still grumpy.
It was a bad night. Not helped by hubby and I having a …. conversation ….
Strangely, when I’ve pointed out an absence, what I don’t want to hear is ‘what time is your alarm in the morning? If you get up we can get stuff done’
Anyway, enough about my domestic un-bliss.
I got dressed today. Even sat in the garden with a cuppa and a visitor. Cleaned the chickens. And then slept. Slept lots.
I didn’t want to take bonus paracetamol or ibroprofen today. That decision got reversed at 2pm. Today has been a very cramped, sore, exhausted day. I’m nauseous today too which is not fun. I just want to sleep.
But it’s day eight. I should be feeling better than this. I need to make it into work tomorrow, I have a pile of personal stuff to get done before I even consider earning a wage.
Covid is no joke. And we were careful, we wore masks, we washed and sanitised our hands, we didn’t lick random surfaces. It has knocked me for six and my lungs are sore from the effort of breathing. Be careful friends.
June 18, 2022
Day 7
Saturday.
Had enough now. And I’m very sorry if you were at the other end of my pathetic moaning messages today.
I’m lonely. And bored. And miserable. Lonely is the worst feeling though. It stops time, makes everything harder. My brain feeds off lonely too, it loves dwelling on the misery and spinning off from it. The brain voices are very shouty, they love reminding me that himself isn’t here today or yesterday or tonight because of All The Reasons.
His covid journey was very different to mine. He maybe had 24 hours of feeling rubbish and I’m now on day seven which is a few more hours than him. He has jumped feet first back into life and his hobbies again, with me left on the sofa, clock watching until the next set of meds. I’m not saying I wanted him fussing 24/7 but a bit of company would have been nice. The occasional cuppa maybe. Cooking tea even. Nope. If he’s not at the place that rhymes with whale away then he is down the garage tinkering.
He can’t use the excuse he was or is trying to avoid catching it, he blinking gave this virus to me. I feel he is just trying to avoid me for whatever reason. I don’t know or understand though. Good old stupid brain.
And to keep with the cheerful theme, I’m still testing positive. Which sucks big time. The line is less marker pen which is good.
I am missing people, conversation, laughter. I can’t even chat on the phone because it makes me cough and coughing is not at all good.
I am missing out on a family dinner tomorrow because of that stupid second line. Right now I feel I’d sit in the garden in the rain and be thrown scraps of salad just to have a change of walls to stare at. I won’t of course because that would necessitate getting dressed.
Ebay has taken a hammering. Ooops. I’ve run out of stuff to watch on the sky box. We took a break from our film discs because of holidays and I’m regretting not having those to distract me and even contemplated paying for Netflix for a bit. I won’t, I’m too frugal for that.
Goodness me, I’m a miserable moany minny today. No wonder he doesn’t want to be at home with me. Ruddy covid. Hate this virus. Go away now, you’ve worn me down and made me cry, now get lost. Please.
June 17, 2022
Days something and the next one.
Thursday and Friday
Sorry I didn’t blog yesterday, I didn’t mean to worry anyone. Yesterday was a very bad head day.
I had set myself a target hadn’t I, to get dressed. I did it. Clothes other than pyjamas on Thursday, woop, go me.
It last two hours. Then my head overwhelmed me and I went to bed for the afternoon.
Today. Well what else is there to say other than cor blimey it’s a bit warm, isn’t it.
My head is still killing me but I can’t blame covid entirely with the air pressure as high as it is.
The coughing is worse but not continuous or making me struggle so I’m managing with that.
I’m fed up though. Really fed up. I had to ask a neighbour to get my monthly bag of meds. I’m trusting himself at the supermarket. I can’t even go litter picking right now. I’m exhausted just walking to the chickens if I’m honest.
But to end on a positive note.
June 15, 2022
Covid day 4
It is getting boring now. Really boring.
Slept 14 hours which was nice but a waste of a day totally. I had tried to tire myself out lots yesterday, I did full on tasks like water one flower pot and walk from my front door to the bench. Wow.
So after sleeping so long I had hoped I’d feel a splash better today. Nope.
It was my first submission to the medical trial diary thing today. The questions were really good actually, you rank your symptoms on a scale and there is space to add non typical symptoms as well. Plus questions about what you’ve taken to help these symptoms and whether you’ve chatted to a medical person (off a list of options) in the last 24 hours.
Whilst it isn’t antivirals – that may or may not work – I have changed my opinion about this process. Yes I’m massively disappointed but I’m still contributing to science. Much like when I do returns to Breakthrough Breast Cancer. Yes I’m utterly fed up of the pile of extra pills I’m taking but I’ve got to keep believing it’s for the best. And as hubby points out; every day I’m at home and not in hospital is a good result. It’s a good day. It’s a gold star on the achievement chart.
Yes, I’m coughing now but it’s not bad or continuous. If it gets worse I’ll contact the doctors of course. Tonight was supposed to be hubby’s Christmas pressie night out so whilst tea was cooking, we both tested.
So. Himself has a night out and I’m on the sofa surrounded by tissues, listening to the cats fight and waiting for sewing bee.
I had some rather fabulous Happy Post though today. Some brownies from a new company to assess against Gower. Some ebay bits and then some Get Well Soon shortbread biscuits with a fabulous card.
Tomorrow is a new day. I’m going to target getting dressed as a challenge tomorrow. It is time to not be in my pyjamas I think. And I need to be a bit more vertical tomorrow as I’m expecting a delivery for himself that cannot be missed. No-one needs to see me in my pyjamas for this long.
Hubby is still going to the railway this weekend, so if I can get dressed tomorrow and have a half decent day, I’d like to think I could maybe go to the office over the weekend when it’s quiet and get some outstanding bits done. Not work, don’t be silly, but stuff that is easier on a PC than a phone.
I’m frustrated that I’m not feeling better. I’m upset that hubby is negative and only had maybe half a day of poorliness. But I have to keep working on my patience levels. One day at a time. One pill box section at a time. Breathe, cough, sleep, repeat.
June 14, 2022
Covid day 3
Tuesday.
Didn’t sleep well. Or much. Turns out insomnia is my new covid symptom too. Hoorah.
Planned my day around supplementary meds. How exciting.
Today has very much been the worst day so far. The pain in my muscles and joints has been unbearable. And the sore throat has taken on new levels of burning. My eyes and nose won’t stop streaming and if I laugh, I cough. Coughing hurts and my ears are bunged up and feeling pressured.
In good news, the garden produced raspberries and strawberries today. I can’t taste them but it makes my brain happy.
In less good news, I’ve been rejected from the panoramic trials because my GP’s surgery isn’t linked. But they suggested I get in touch with the principle trails which is also linked to Oxford Uni. Nice second chance.
I had a telephone screening with one of the trial nurses today, a lovely lady called Cathy. She said I more than fitted the criteria and so I was entered into the future telling computer.
There were four possible outcomes. One was ivermectin which is a parasitic treatment often used for horses and much advocated by nutters on Twitter. Two others were drugs known for viral management with long names beginning with f. The fourth outcome was something called ‘usual care’ which is no additional medication but a 28 diary submission via the Internet. This fourth group I guess is the control group or placebo group?
The nurse pressed the button and in a sad voice said ‘oh no, I’m so sorry.’
To which I replied ‘Not ivermectin?’
No she said, you are usual care.
So no antivirals for me. But I do feel that usual care is better than animal medicine. And the list of possible side effects from the two f-drugs was long, colourful and potentially explosive. So maybe a lucky escape? I didn’t feel that at the time of the call, I had a bit of a cry and the nurse seemed disappointed too. I am desperate to feel better than I do right now. I am so sore, so miserable, so fed up. However, I’ve had four jabs, this could be so much worse.
What does alarm me a splash is that this isn’t necessarily a one hit wonder. I know of people who have tested positive for this covid ness three and even four times.
I’m just sending it out to the universe that I DO NOT want this again please and thank you.
June 12, 2022
Holiday News.
We had a glorious week in Jamaica. Met up with friends, got vitamin D in abundance.
Hubby felt ropey on the plane, even asked for paracetamol! But we put this down to jet lag /time difference /holiday blues.
Except.
Came home. Told him to test just so we knew it wasn’t. Hahaha big mistake. And yes, I was so exhausted I wrote the date wrong.
So last Thursday, we became a plague house. I cleaned, I distanced, I loaded him up with paracetamol and strepsils. Thought we were doing okay.
Except I’ve not been sleeping well. Not untypical after travelling. My skin is so itcy and feels like I’m covered in something. I’m tired and unsure of what day it is.
But I kept testing. And testing negative too.
But then Saturday into Sunday night I felt quite rubbish indeed. So at 3am I got up to go get something out the meds drawer. Saw the test laid out ready for Sunday morning as I had commitments to attend.
I am beyond words to say I am very positive for covid. I am scared. I’m frustrated. I’m almost angry because we didn’t hug friends, we didn’t snog strangers, we didn’t lick door knobs. We sanitised and kept distances and I wore my mask on the plane and on transfers.
We don’t need anything right now. We have well stocked freezers and medicine drawers! Hubby is a few days ahead of me and aside from a snotty nose now, he feels fine – except he still has a very strong positive line.
if it’s your thing, please pray for my immune system. If it’s not then send wishes, fairy dust and positive energy instead. I’m drinking water, taking paracetamol and sleeping. A lot of sleeping. I just need to stay out of hospital.
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