March 3, 2022
Lent hasn’t started so well.
Lent is a good time to try new stuff, new habits, change bad ones maybe. I don’t do it as a religious thing, more a period of time to reset the mind.
Pancake day was amazing. Of course it was, it was pancake day!
So, Ash Wednesday began badly – I chose toast rather than a shake for breakfast. Not the best choice really. But hey ho.
And we were supposed to be going to a concert that evening, in Birmingham. Over the last few years, I’ve found going to Birmingham really stressful and really uncomfortable and it would take a few days for my joints to recover. So we discussed that we would only go to Birmingham again if we really, really wanted to see that band or play. And we did really want to see this band.
I was fine. I was excited. On the drive home from work though my brain started up. How would I be safe? So many people, no legislation anymore, no need for masks, no distancing, no checking in to the venue, no track and trace, no air flow. I got into the house and squished up into a ball and had a total meltdown.
Hubby found me as a bit of a mess and we had a long chat about it and ultimately, we didn’t go. I’m sad I couldn’t work through it, I’m sad I don’t feel safe anymore in society. Theatre has been fine, but a gig was a step too far.
This is something I need to work on. I can’t waste money like that on a regular basis.
My target for Lent is to lose as much of the weight that I have re-gained since Christmas. I need to stop snacking, stop emotional eating, stop thinking that food is the answer. It helps that March is another no shop month as we still haven’t turned off that third freezer!!!
Plus, if I can occupy my brain with sensible food thinking, then I’ll possibly be distracted from next Tuesdays MOT on the Smart and the Thursday rummaging appointment at Redditch.
Simples.
October 8, 2021
Thursday Thoughts
(On a Friday, I know)
This snot lurgy has not left me. I hate it.
As a result of being full of gross stuff I was not losing weight. My weigh in day is officially Thursday but yes I’m a sad sack who checks most mornings and this week, those numbers were not changing at all. Not even a flicker. So I had resigned myself to a plateaux week – which is fine – most people on exante find this is week three or four so I knew I was due one ages ago. Imagine my surprise when on Thursday morning I got on the scales to find a new number and my one stone loss hit. Yes, I squealed, yes I alarmed the cats, yes I got on and off about seventy thousand times.
It was a very lovely surprise and much needed boost to the brain. I did celebrate with a raspberry chocolate shake for breakfast.
This lurgy is dragging me down mentally, I’m so fed up with it now. And I know it could be worse but I’m sick of sniffing, sick of a trail of soggy tissues in my wake. And it hurts to blow my nose right now. No, not because my nose is sore but because I’ve been injected.
I saw the doctor last week about a weird bump on my previously butterflied toe and whilst I was there casually said ‘so how do we go about getting these carpal tunnel steroid injections organised?’ and he immediately made me an appointment for this Tuesday morning and gave me horror stories of how I couldn’t come alone, couldn’t drive home afterwards, would need a babysitter for a while.
I’m not going to sugar coat this, these things HURT. I did cry a splash when he did my right hand. He did tell me I could call him names as he knew it wasn’t nice – which coming from a doctor is a bit bonkers. My hands did indeed go weird and tingly and I couldn’t have used a key to get in the house, he was right.
The only issue has been how much my wrists have hurt since the jabs. It’s friday and I’m only just managing to type this. With the aid of a wrist cushion, my arthritis gloves, a split with a metal bar for my right hand and a weird magnetic support glove thing on my left. I look like I’ve gotten dressed in the dark for a strange joint conference.
So yey me I’ve lost a stone in 52 days. Not so yey is how much my wrists hurt. They don’t hurt when they are cold which I’m trying to not use as an excuse to linger in the fridge ……..
September 22, 2021
I am a rubbish poorly person
Gah. I have had ENOUGH now.
This snot and gunk lurgy is just ANNOYING. I am fed up of coughing until I vomit. I am fed up of sneezing so much my ribs hurt. I am embarrassed that I’ve had to ask dear friends to source me vicks and super strong strepsils.
I really want to sleep without choking on icky stuff.
I dont know what this bug is, I don’t think I care whether it has a name or not, I just want it over. I want to breathe and move and be able to do anything without feeling beaten up.
And yes, through it all, I am trying to stick with my diet. Which was fine until today when I decided to try new products. The porridge was pointless and had no substance to it and I wonder how much worse it would have been if I hadn’t added some blueberries to it. Then a bit later on, I thought I’d try a soup. Ugh. I added extra veg to it but 200ml of soup is basically a thimble full.
I
AM
SO
GRUMPY.
If nothing else I have learnt that the shakes work for me but these other things just don’t fill me up the same. Which is fine in the grand scheme of things and I’m sure I’ll be grateful eventually but right now, tonight, I’m fed up.
I want ice cream and chocolate and toast and crisps and cheese.
I know this will pass. I am already looking forward to my cherries and berries shake for breakfast as it is one of my faves. But unless I can sleep for the next 12 hours starting immediately then I’d better stick an ’approach with caution’ sign up on the door for hubby.
If you catch this September bug please give up any diet plans at the same time. Eat the toast and ice cream. Life is too short for being as miserable as me right now.
September 16, 2021
It’s the 16th
Today is my one month update. One month of changing my eating habits and trying to make my brain better.
When I started WW in November 2011 I had a BMI of 31.7 and after I’d lost a stone with them it was 29.1
I had an ‘end’ target of 27.5 which still made me fall into the overweight category of sums but it was in the middle rather than teetering on the edge of obese. By end I mean when I finished the free voucher booklet I got.
When I started this new system one month ago, my BMI was 30.1 and I’m now 28.2 in just one month! The WW target of 27.5 is very much in my sights and do-able for sure.
Ultimately, the BMI numbers are what drive the doctors and nurses to nag and lecture. I’m happy with how much I’ve lost in a month and how I’ve done it and how I’m looking to include this moving forward in my life. I’m thrilled with how easy it’s been and how much better exante is than SlimFast.
Don’t get me wrong, I have moments where I could give this up totally. Theatre night was tough, watching people eat buckets of popcorn and tubs of ice cream. Walking back to the car and smelling all the chicken fast food joints was so hard. So very hard. I love food but I have to accept that food does not love me.
I’ve made myself this to remind me that any (downward) change in numbers is positive and even if the numbers are stagnant for a bit it isn’t a bad thing. Each day is a four part challenge and I’m getting there. It is very encouraging to my brain when I change these numbers on the board.
I fully understand that this isn’t for everyone. The mister has commented on how impressed he is that I’ve stuck it out this long. He admits he thought I’d give up long before now. And it is odd how I’ve adapted to it and been able to not hurt him when he has toast or chips or cheese or pie or pudding. My brain is comfortable and this is something I’ve never had before – you only have to read the WW blogs from November 2011 to note the difference in my attitudes and lack of rantings.
This is my breakfast. I have a pint of water, a mug of hot tea and a freshly made shake plus my morning pills. I drink the shake, then half the water, then the other half is with my pills and then my cuppa. The shakes are best drunk as soon after making as possible. I’ve found if you get distracted they go a bit gritty and less airy. This shake was a half and half mix of gingerbread and chocolate. My favourite flavour is the raspberry brownie – who knew that chocolate for breakfast could be good for you?!!
And I’m comfortable mixing up my days to either be just four shakes or less shakes and an actual meal! Today for example I’m having two shakes and a meal for tea. Theatre day was three shakes and a meal replacement bar. The bar was utterly disgusting and I’d rather go hungry than eat another one of those but it was the easiest thing to do with the travelling and theatre times. Sunday we are meeting with friends for lunch so I have a plan to have a yoghurt for breakfast to line my stomach for my pills, have that amazing roast dinner meal at lunchtime and maybe one shake in the evening if I feel I need something. It’s flexible enough to not feel like I can’t make plans with my peoples.
Today is September 16th.
Today is 100 days until Christmas Day.
Today I am proud to announce I have lost 9lbs in a month.
September 8, 2021
A quick note
September 16th will be my one month since starting my new food regimes so I’ll give a weight update then. The target is half a stone so keep everything crossed for me!
I’ve moved from SlimFast onto a meal replacement scheme called Exante. Same principle but they have more food choices in that I can have a shake or a soup or a bar or porridge or an actual meal.
I say actual meal, it’s all space food in reality. It’s magic dust you mix with either cold or hot water to give you 200 calories and loads of vitamins and minerals. But there’s packets with names of proper dinners like shepherds pie or chicken fajitas or chicken soup. So it’s good for the brain.
It also works out as a pound per packet too which is good for my financial sanity. And if you want to give it a try I can send you a referral code which will give you money off your purchase.
It’s working for me. I even told him indoors that I was enjoying it! The flavours are nice, they are easy to make now I’ve got a nutribullet – but equally, they are easy without too. I’m not thinking about food constantly. I’m not craving anything. I’m glad I don’t have to plan meals as such. I feel less bloated, less heavy, less bleugh in myself. Dare I say it, I even feel a bit skinnier.
I’ve just invested in a box of 60 packets. Special offer of course. So I’m committed to this for another month because it isn’t hard and it isn’t challenging and it’s tasting okay and I’m doing good with it.
September 16th I want to be able to say I’ve lost half a stone in one month. I’d really like someone to notice too because so far, no one has which isn’t helpful for motivation. But that’s my brain’s problem, not anyone else’s.
October 16th I want to be close to my WW finishing weight of 10st 7lbs. Which will be another half stone.
October 16th I want to be a comfortable size 14. Mainly because I want to fit into more clothes that I own.
October 16th I want to be happy with how I feel and how I look.
September 1, 2021
Post BH-weekend catch up
Hello lovely blog readers. Have you missed me?
Friday I stuck with the diet. Saturday I resisted cake too. Sunday I was not well at all and I just had a roast dinner which was delivered to me and was blinking delish. BH Monday I did stuff and stuck to the diet. Yesterday I was really good too and I didn’t have any snacks either.
Oh. And I weighed myself on Saturday and hadn’t lost any weight which was pretty pants indeed.
This week I’m kinda busy but not as busy as last week thankfully.
Today is Wednesday and I have weighed myself again as it’s day ten kinda. And FINALLY. One. Pound. Off.
This is deeply annoying as peeps on the faceache group are losing anything between three and ten pounds a week but I’m consoling myself that they are maybe taller/heavier/more active than me.
This was one of my inventions. It is one and half scoops each of chocolate and raspberry. Made with part hot water and part hot almond milk with crumbled homegrown raspberries on the top. Drunk out of my super posh mug it feels like a treat hot chocolate rather than lunch. Woop.
I am okay with this plan whilst I’m busy. I’m aware that this isn’t going to be a viable option come a couple of weeks time when bat season has passed and my diary is empty. But I just want to force my brain into thinking about life and activities rather than food 24/7. I’m going to finish these packs and see where I’m at. Maybe like everything else, I need more time to adjust and for my insides to catch up and go ‘yeah, this works’ and then I can surprise my system with another carb free week and be a skinny minny for a bit.
Just a bit though. No one will notice and I can pile on the winter insulation again and be happy in my toast cabin.
August 27, 2021
Only Thursday. Day Four
The jam jar idea is brilliant. Looks rubbish but then so do the contents!
I’m on strawberry and blueberry again today, I just can’t face the raspberry one again just yet but I did notice the S&B bag was almost empty after I prep’d for today so I’ve maybe one more day to get out the bag? I’ve bought a chocolate flavour one now so I can continue this next week and assess how this fits within a more normal week. I’d also like to see some changes on the scales and I’m feeling that a week isn’t a good enough timescale.
I foolishly jumped on the scales today, I really did think that after three days of this, something might have changed but nope, not a pound either way. Will try again on Saturday and hope there is a loss otherwise I’m going to have an absolute tantrum.
Not much else to say really. I’m super busy, this diet is really boring and I just want a long weekend of sleep. Instead I shall be at Great Comberton’s Flower Show from 2pm – 5.30pm on Saturday so come see me/Evesham Bat Care and say hello. Tell me I look shocking if you’re feeling brave.
August 26, 2021
Day three. Halfway
Today I am back on the strawberry & blueberry grey shake. It is made with water so less thick. It’s a weird colour for sure but doesn’t smell horrid like the other one.
But by lunchtime I was hungry. Proper climbing the walls hungry. I brought two snacks to work – brazil nuts again and a tiny amount of dried apricots for my 100 calories too. I’ve eaten both of them, without pausing or treating them as different time zone treats. I’ve drunk nearly all my water bottles and been hitting the kettle hard. This is odd, I’ve not felt hungry so far on this plan and I don’t like it. I have too long left before going home to avoid temptation.
I have a suspicion that I feel this way because I made a 3/4 shake for breakfast to fit in the stupid shaker beaker. It’s filled me for a period of time but not long enough to get to lunch. Except the issue next is that lunch is another 3/4 portion too. Thank goodness I have a post-nap lump of vegetable-made lasagne to look forward to later.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m watching <ahem> listening to Celebrity Masterchef via BBC iplayer and after two episodes of talking about toad-in-the-hole and poached eggs and sweetcorn fritters I’m just wanting something more with texture that isn’t gloopy smooth and a savoury flavour.
So at lunchtime I rang hubby for a distraction and we’ve discussed how there is a jar in the recycling from the lasagne making and that probably holds enough liquid ….. ever resourceful is the mister.
This strawberry and blueberry one isn’t too bad if you drink it with your eyes closed, the colour is very deeply off putting. It doesn’t taste of anything much either.
What is odd is that I’m clearly not eating much and yet I feel comfortable. I’m not bloated or starving or feeling too bad. I’m just feeling ……. unsatisfied I suppose. I am now entering the gassy stage that people on the forums warn about and slimfast the second time round, post-burp is utterly disgusting. Extra strong mints to the rescue.
What I am finding totally baffling is how expensive this is considering you aren’t eating three meals. The pre-made shakes and calorie counted snack bars are not cheap; 6 shakes are £10 and 6 bars of ONLY 26g are £3 a box. The powder to make the shakes is pricey too – my bags cost £12 each and they are 8 servings – so 4 days each – and some people are on this for months and months. This isn’t an inexpensive way of life. Lots of people too are relying on ready meals for tea with some veg or salad because the meals are already calorie counted so I wonder how financially viable this is long term. But I guess that’s how all these companies make their money – if you go a bit rogue and the results aren’t forthcoming then peeps recommend you stick with the branded stuff and kerr-ching the money is rolling in.
You’ll know from previous blogs that hubby and I are frugal. We grow what we can and use leftovers and have zero food waste and blah blah. Our shopping bill isn’t much off £40 a week. And yes, I’m not eating 3 meals this week but I am still on milk for some shakes and gallons of tea and then an evening meal too. Our shopping bill would be noticeably higher if I’d bought the stuff from a standard supermarket and not a certain internet auction site.
I also wonder how I’d manage this within the parameters of a ‘normal’ week. When I’m working flexi time or sat at home because I’ve crashed or basically not working 6 hours temping then an hour nap then out again on survey. When I’m less busy and less occupied and my brain gets shouty. Would I still manage to avoid the comfort eating and distraction of nice things? Something to test next week maybe. And how does this system work over a weekend when everyone is home and someone is cooking a bacon sarnie or a roast dinner or you are out all day at a village flower show trying to promote all things batty and brilliant???
August 25, 2021
Day two dramas
Ugh I’m so bored of this already.
Day two was a different flavour, Tuesday was the raspberry one and I was really looking forward to it as I really like anything raspberry.
What a disappointment.
It tastes like slightly warm, not quite set, lumpy angel delight. And as a huge fan of angel delight, this is a real hardship for sure. It was so thick and hard to swallow. And the smell was so horrid. As long as I didn’t try and sniff it before drinking, I was kinda okay.
I relished the brazil nuts, they were delicious and I tried to savor them and make them last. But four nuts as a portion was very sad indeed. I was super disappointed that there were only four as I love brazil nuts.
Because my beaker is smaller than ideal, I got hubby to calculate 3/4 sizes or whatever quantity of water I need to make one less scoop mixture. This made it less messy in terms of shaking and preparing … but … it means I’m not consuming as much as I need to. I don’t know that I’m hungry as such but I am very bored.
Getting the water right has been a massive bonus today, I don’t feel sick or sloshy anymore. This is a huge bonus indeed.
I didn’t even want a yogurt when I got home from temping before my nap.
I had prepared lasagne with aubergine and courgette instead of pasta and hardly any cheese between the layers. Just loads of veg in with the meat. Hubby of course has lashings of sauce and cheese and pasta and delicious-ness. I have no idea on the calories for the meal, it’s homemade, it’s lots of veg and no carbs and I felt was good and healthy. It has to be, there’s enough for four meals.
I had my yogurt after tea instead as I was dashing out on a survey. I didn’t want to be sucked into the idea that I needed anything on survey every time and just took a bottle of water instead.
I only had two of the three snacks but I don’t know what calorie count the meal was, so I’m sure it balances okay.
Oh! And I’ve brought a cycle chair to temping, I can sit and be vaguely exercising!
Lessons learnt:-
This diet isn’t for me, not long term
Still need something better for my beaker
Stop complaining as this was a choice.
August 24, 2021
Day One Details
Oh I bet you’ve all been waiting for this.
Who did she shout at? What did she smash up? How bad did it get?
I thought I was super prepared. I’d done sums and planned the snacks. I’d even worked out a timeline of what I could or should have when! Get me.
08.15 pint of water for first breakfast
09.30 Strawberry & Blueberry shake with red milk
11.00 Bottle of water
13.30 Strawberry & Blueberry shake with water
15.00 Bottle of water
16.00 Yoghurt (100 cal snack)
18.00 Meal (approx 500 cals)
21.00 5 Jelly Babies (100 cal snack)
21.30 Bottle of water
Hang on a minute, I hear you shouting, you said it was the 3-2-1 diet. Three snacks as well as a 900 cal meal. What are you playing at?
First drama – I thought my water bottles were 250ml and 500ml. They aren’t. Instead, they are 500ml and 750ml. So I didn’t want to eat anything because I was swimming with water. Bleugh. Proper sloshy tummy and a slightly nauseous feeling every time I moved.
Second drama – Instructions are ‘mix up a shake’ and I thought I could use the food processor or hand blender. Turns out, nope. So I went onto freecycle and tried to beg a shaker beaker thing – like what boys use for protein shakes – and I got one but it’s a bit small. It will only take 200ml of liquid whereas the shake recipes are for 250ml but I’m not willing to spend £7 on something I’m only going to use for a week.
Third drama – I can’t do maths.
The first shake yesterday I described as ‘grey and gritty’ which I stick by. The second shake of the day was palatable. One with milk, one with water. I assumed all shakes were made with milk as all the forum chats are about different sorts of milk and how to make it ‘creamier’ with a red milk base and/or calorie counts of non dairy milks etc
Yesterday’s flavour is not to be made with milk according to the back of the packet. No wonder it tasted and looked less than nice. And I dislike milkshakes, I have never liked that thick, gloopy texture. Ugh.
So I spent a great chunk of the day trying to recalculate scoops to liquid when the liquid isn’t 250mls but 200mls whilst feeling like I’d swallowed a water bed.
Then I went out on bat survey which meant tea had to be super early and I knew I’d be nibblish during the evening – hence the jelly baby maths. I did at one point think I’d have to buy a packet of ginger biscuits and calculate those as 100cal snacks to keep a lid on the nausea but that’s less than ideal. So my tea ended up being the ham, cheese, egg and red pepper ‘snacks’ with more lettuce and a few home grown tomatoes and mayo.
This snack thing is tricky – water drama aside. I don’t do snacks typically and it isn’t something I want to get used to so it’s hard to actually plan to eat between meals. Also, I need to keep my carbs to a minimum for the diabetes but the shakes are 30g carbs each which is about what I’d like the whole day to be! So my ‘snacks’ have to be as close to zero carbs as possible to balance out the 2x30g carbs of the shakes. Slimfast is all about calorie counting and that’s not something I’ve ever done. For me it’s been portion sizes or watching carbs.
So I’m trying to find better snacks. Yesterday was all about protein. Today I’ve got a yoghurt and some brazil nuts. Both 100 calorie portions. I’m really looking forward to filling up on these because yes, 14g of brazil nuts is 100 calories. Lucky, lucky me.
Lessons learnt:-
Read instructions
Don’t be tight and just buy a beaker of the correct size
Check and don’t assume
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